Memorandum . . .
TO: Jesus, Son of Joseph, Woodcrafters Shop, Nazareth
FROM: Jordan Management Consultants, Jerusalem
SUBJECT: Staff Aptitude Evaluation
Thank you for submitting the rÈsumÈs of the 12 men you
have identified for management positions in your new organization and making
the applicants available to us for interviews. All of them have now taken our
battery of psychological tests. In addition, each has met with our vocational
aptitude consultant.
Based on this data, we have concluded that your nominees
lack the requisite background, education, and temperament for the enterprise
you propose. We recommend you continue your search for persons with more
appropriate experience, more relevant education, and at least a modicum of
proven managerial capability.
More specifically, our analysis shows that:
- Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of
temper. - Nathanael has absolutely no leadership qualities or
experience whatsoever. (Where did you find him anyway? Under a tree?!) - The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee,
place their interest in personal power above company loyalty. In addition, best
organizational practice dictates that family members not serve together in the
same chain of command. - Thomas demonstrates a skeptical attitude that would tend
to undermine morale throughout the organization. - Our background check shows that the Greater Jerusalem
Better Business Bureau has blacklisted Matthew. This is a major red flag. - James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus definitely have
radical leanings, and they both score abnormally high on the manic depressive
scale. - Three of the remaining candidates have done nothing
noteworthy in their careers to date. In fact, itís hard for most of us even to
remember their names.
Having had so many negative things to say about eleven of
your candidates, it heartens us to be able to tell you we believe one of the
twelve shows great potential. Resourceful, emotionally intelligent, and
possessing a keen mind for business, Judas Iscariot has many influential
contacts potentially beneficial to your organization. He is highly motivated,
ambitious, and innovative. We recommend you sign him on at once as your
organizationís comptroller and as chief advisor to the CEO.
We wish you every success in your new venture, but quite
honestly see no future unless and until you approach staffing issues more
astutely.